Serve a Purpose

Well, it took me ages to get around to the final post in my Love Languages series. It could be because I'm less passionate about Acts of Service... whoops.

Many people like having others do jobs, tasks and favours for them. In fact it's quite rare to dislike this. However, for some people, they don't just like having less work to do themselves - this is what makes them feel loved the most.

Something that can be difficult with Acts of Service is the effort behind it, and I think that's what I'll talk about today.

I am always so conscious of when I sow a lot of time and effort into something for someone else. It's easy to keep track of. However, when an act of service is received, it is received through perceived effort based on the receiver's experiences. For example, my housemates have thanked me for doing a few things over the last weeks. I shrugged my shoulders because I wasn't really trying - it was just something I'd done on the way to do something else, or something I felt obliged to do. To me those things took little effort, or were part of our 'contract', shall we say, as housemates, rather than out of love. But to them, those things meant something, or perhaps they find them hard to do, so they perceived that it might have taken me effort to do them. In other situations, I have done things out of sacrificial love that have been unnoticed (it's OK people. Going unnoticed is part of the glory sometimes).

So, on the one hand, we should try to work out the things that are most appreciated by the person we are showing love to. These may often be the things they dislike doing the most. For example, I don't like washing my car. Even though acts of service is not one of my top 3 languages, that is an act that I would appreciate more than many others. People who receive primarily through Acts of Service would probably easily come up with a longer list ;-) This way, you will be giving the same amount of emotional (and possibly physical) energy when you invest in them, but will get a better return in affection and blessing to them.

On the other hand, sometimes I think it's really good to let go a bit of our perceptions of effort. It's good not to keep a big record of all the energy you've poured into others, just like it's not good to keep a record of the wrongs of others. You never know when someone has been doing things for YOU that you haven't noticed. Giving without expectation of receiving is a noble thing for us to learn.

Well...
How's that for an end to this series?



I confess I have a fashion post in the works I am dying to share which may have motivated me to finish this ;-)

Happy serving!
S xox